The Burro went skidding down the mountain side on his hind quarters and landed at the bottom just a few feet from a Mountain Goat. The Burro picked his sore ass off the ground, gave the Mountain a disdainful look and started back up the blooming thing.

"Hey!" shouted the Goat, "You gonna try than again...Huh, Jack?"

The Burro glared at the Goat, gave him the same look as he had the Mountain and once again began his climb. He planted his hooves firmly on the mountain soil and gave a quick test for solidarity before taking the next step. This, needless to say, was slow. The Goat watched for several minutes, then came bounding up the hillside with effortless ease to the side of the Burro.

"Hey, Jack," The Goat said "What gives. I mean, like you'll never make it to the top before dark."

"Beat it!" retorted the Burro.

"Aw, Jack." replied the Goat with mock hurt feeling, "Like Man, this is my pad. I don't blow my own pad."

"Look, Goat," wailed the Burro, "haven't I enough troubles without a bearded bum harassing me?"

The Goat stopped climbing, but the Burro kept on going. Stroking his goatee, the Goat let the insult seep into his Pride and hurt it.

"God damn Ass". thought the Goat, "Try to be friendly and get kicked inna the teeth. See if I care if he falls again and loses his name sake."

The Goat turned away and started down hill, but stopped and a wild grin crept across his face. He looked at the Burro, who was now a fair way up and gave a chuckle. The Goat went springing up to the Burro, danced a few circles around him and finally spoke.

"Hey, Jack!" he said, "Want me to show you how to climb this rock pile in one easy lesson?"

The Burro once again stopped and gave the Goat a killing look.

"Beat it, Goat!" he demanded.

"Wait a minute, Jack. Like, I show ya how to float up this here hill and that's the end of your troubles. No more sore tail. No more extra trips to get to one place. More time to relax on yonder hill top. More time to romp with the Jennies! Man, listen to me and ya'll be like in wild clover." The Goat was making very effort to get the Burro to listen.

"I'll tell you one more time, Goat..." The Burro stopped mid-thought and suddenly wild clover and wild Jennies whirled in his mind. He stood with dream webs in his eyes and a devilish grin crossed his face.

"Yeah!" exclaimed the Burro, "Show me!"

"Yeah!" echoed the Goat with fire beams in his eyes. "OK, Jack! First ya gotta cool it. Like, relax...watch!"

The Goat hopped from one rock to another.

"See that, Jack." he continued, "Don't let those hooves stay onna the ground, keep 'em goin'. That's the secret. Come on, try it."

The Burro jumped to his first lesson with gusto. He sprang from one rock to another, but then with the same gusto, he went sliding down the mountain side again. The Goat slowly came down the hill with a placid look on his bearded face.

"Man, like never do that again." he advised, "Ya shouldn't have stayed on that Rock so long."

"Stayed on that Rock so long!" shouted the Burro with harsh anger, "I didn't have time to even touch down before that Rock threw me. What duh'ya mean, 'stayed too long'."

"Easy, Jack." the Goat said calmly, "Ya stayed long enough for the Rock to shake hands with ya. Ya can't stay that long."

"I better do it my way." replied the Burro as he started for the third time up the mountain, mumbling a few foul words about the Goat. The Goat let the Burro get a little more than half way up, then he hopped up to him again.

"Look, Jack." he said with a soulful voice, "I'm tryin' to give ya the secret of my climin' ability. Ain't no reason why ya can't climb these hills without gettin' sore feet and tail. Think of all the times to come when ya'll have ta climb this hill...un that hill...un that un. Why, half your time will be spent on climbing un that lil Jenny up there waitin' and waitin' and finally goin' off with the first Jack that comes along. Man, youse's awastin' your time."

"Look, Goat, " pleaded the Burro, "I can't climb like you, so quit buggin' me!"

"No such thing, Jack." retorted the Goat, as he saw the Burro was weakening, "Ya got four legs like me. Ya got hooves like me. Ya got smarts like me and you climb hills like me! Man, can't you see its a matter of mind. You think and you don't think. You gotta think alla time to make this grade!"

The Burro had stopped climbing and was trying to think. The smile on the Goat's face was harder and harder for him to disguise.

"All right, Goat. You tell me all there is to know and then if I think it will work, then I'll try it...and not before."

"Why shore, Jack." agreed the Goat, "Not only will I tell ya, I'll show ya. Now pay attention. First ya gotta look where ya walk. If ya see loose Rocks, then ya goes around. Them Rocks will try to throw ya every time. Then ya gotta put spring inna ya step. Now watch an I'll show ya!"

The Goat repeated the same performance that he did when he first instructed the Burro. The he came back to the Burro.

"If ya don't jump right inna the program," encouraged the Goat, "then ya'll never make it. So make the first step a real bouncy one. Go on. Go on, Jack. It's easy!"

The Burro looked the ground over carefully and then bounced from one rock to another. It was getting easy, so he looked toward the Goat to brag and then looked back just in time to see that his next landing spot was full of Rocks with outstretched arms, ready to throw him. He tried to made a mid air turn, but it only made matters worse, for when he landed, the Rocks caught him and gave him a bone jarring flip.

When the dust settled and the loose Rocks had quit tumbling down, the Burro discovered himself to be further down the mountain than when he first started that morning.

"Hell fire and brimstone!" cursed the Burro at the Goat, "Get lost this time and stay lost. If you don't beat it, then I'll beat the Hell and Devil out of you!"

"Well," remarked the Goat coldly, who had come down the hill with a casual trot, "once an Ass, always an Ass!" and walked away, not looking at the Burro.

The Burro snorted a few flames of wrath at the Goat and started the climb once more. This time he made it, but it was dark when he got to the top and sure enough, the Jennies had gone off with the first Jack that came along.

Copyright 2007 by C. D. Goosen

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