Copyright 2007 by C. D. Goosen

Once there were three Baboons sitting in a tree eating bananas. The First Baboon would take a banana, peel it, take a bite on it and pass it on to the Second Baboon, who would take a bite, pass it to the Third Baboon, who would take the last bite and then throw away the peel. Then the first Baboon would take another banana, peel it, etc cetra, etc cetra, etc cetra. Then one day...

"Hey, did you see that?" said the First Baboon.

"No, but I hear something!" replied the Second Baboon.

"Actually, what you two saw and heard was no more than a nonvenomous tropical snake from South America...of the family Boidae...known as the Boa Constrictor, which just slipped off a herbaceous perennial tropical plant...of the family Musaceae, of course...commonly known as the Banana tree." remarked the Third Baboon.

The first two Baboons were passing a banana back and forth, not taking a bite. They were watching the Boa unwind himself and slowly inch his way toward them.

"What's a Boa Constrictor doing here?" asked the First Baboon.

"Where is he?" asked the Second Baboon.

"Well, I surmise, by the collar, which is make from a tanned hide of a herbivorous mammal, commonly called a horse, and encrusted with imitation stones of high luster known as Rhinestones, and the majuscule script of Uncial lettering of the words 'Khartoum Circus', the snake has eluded his captors and has found his way to freedom." expounded the Third Baboon.

"Humph." replied the First Baboon.

"I might add that Khartoum is an Anglo-Egyptian city in Sudan at the junction of the White Nile and the Blue Nile Rivers. You may not have known that." added the Third Baboon.

"Appreciate the information." mumbled the First Baboon as he took a bite out of a banana without peeling it.

The two Baboons watched (the third could only listen) as the Boa crawled up to the tree upon which they sat.

"He's starting to climb our tree, I see." said the First Baboon matter-of-factly.

"Yeah? I hear something down there." responded the Second Baboon.

"Yeah. He's down there, all right." remarked the First Baboon as he took the banana from the Second Baboon, stuffed the peel into his mouth and threw the meat of the banana to the Boa.

The Boa ignored the banana, ever keeping his eyes on the three Baboons.

"Looks like he has an eye for one of us." stated the First Baboon.

"I hear you, I hear you." said the Second Baboon nervously.

"It would appear that way," observed the Third Baboon, "but I doubt if he intends upon considering us as a gastronomical delicacy. Is it not know that a Chacma, which is the Hottentot name for Baboon, is a ferocious and savage Old World Ape, which can mutilate any of his predators with their enlarged and sharp Canines? The Ophidia would be foolish to consider us morsels, upon which he would no doubt delight in masticating, as food."

The First Baboon looked at the Second Baboon and the Second Baboon looked as if he looked back at the First Baboon. In unison, they turned and looked at the Third Baboon and shrugged their shoulders.

"Seems to me," said the First Baboon, "that you speak the truth, however, I doubt that the Boa will concur with your argument, that is, seeing how he's still coming at us."

"Yeah, that's the way I hear it." agreed the Second Baboon.

"Well, naturally one must reason with such lowly creatures as the common snake, but that shouldn't prove extremely difficult. My inordinate omniscience, together with my inexpugnable...not to mention formidable...fighting characteristics will in no while excite the subjacent and abject creature into pusillanimous flight." boasted the Third Baboon.

The Boa edged closer to the Baboons.

"I suggest you put your pugilistic nature to the test right now," suggested the First Baboon.

"Hey, I heard you say a big word," said the Second Baboon, "Congratulations."

"Well, thank you." replied the First Baboon as they shook hands.

"Hurry up and attack!" continued the First Baboon, "He's almost on top of us."

"Certainly, my good man...my Oxford influence, you know...I'm waiting for the propitious moment to assail my foe." replied the Third Baboon.

He waited a few more moments, then leaped at the Boa and at the same time uttered a deathly scream. The Baboon and Snake fell to the ground. The grass was tossed to and fro, branches broke, trees uprooted, stones upheaved, and the battle raged. Finally the forest became quite.

"Good show, best I've ever seen. Hey, down there, great going." shouted the First Baboon. "That's the way we like to have them come out."

"Indeed yes, it 's the best I've ever heard." agreed the Second Baboon.

"Indeed yes." repeated the First Baboon. "Actually, I didn't think it would end so favorably, with all gib talk and all."

"Hey, down there, Congratulations!" called out the Second Baboon.

A stir was hear and the victor crawled out of the battle field.

"Thank you!" he said, "Burph! Excuse me."

Then the Snake crawled away into the forest.